


Fear of a Rose Tinted World

by AwkwardDuckProducktions



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know jack shit about shaving, I'm Sorry, If you don't know Rocky horror picture show, It birthed me, Jack and Lily are really good at ASL, M/M, Memory Loss, Mentions of Coma, Mentions of Lily - Freeform, Recovery, Sammy's own head getting in the way of his own happiness, Shaving, mute Jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 03:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15572931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwkwardDuckProducktions/pseuds/AwkwardDuckProducktions
Summary: Several months, one existential crisis, several fan fics, two panic attacks related to this fucking thing later, I give you....A fucking shaving fic.You're fucking welcome.





	Fear of a Rose Tinted World

Sammy wasn't used to waking up next to someone. His heart wouldn't let him have someone else lie in the bed with him. Other people's beds were fair game, but his was a monument to everything he lost.  
Until it wasn't.  
His eyes blinked awake as sunlight crept up the walls. Plain white became gold with the rising sun. In the corner of his eye, a tuff of brown and sliver hair wiggled against his arm pinned down by the owner of said hair. He rolled to his side and drank in the sight. The doe eyes remained closed, relax with sleep. His arms sandwiched between the two bodies as if trying to get impossibly closer. A shirt too long for him hid the way his bones stuck out, a challenge to fix but he and his friends were making progress. Rosy lips parted sightly, hidden partly by the thick beard his time in the void grew. He was here in Sammy's arms, each breath a blessing and each heartbeat a song he never wants to forget.  
Jack dragged his head up to look at him, as if awoken by the waxing poetry Sammy was thinking of. He grinned sleepily and blinked slowly. His new way of saying Good Morning. Sammy kissed his cheek in response. Silent giggles and low chuckles filled the room.

When Jack was first rescued, he screamed himself raw. Between nightmares and doctors trying to touch him, his voice was lost within days. Sammy stayed by his side, of course, but not being about to know what Jack was thinking was weighing on his mind. Lily, however, decided to test something. She asked if he remembers learning how to sign, their parents sitting them at the kitchen table asking for the two siblings to make their case for ice cream in ASL. Jack shook his head in disappointment as tears fell. Her smile grew. He did remember, it was just disorganized. He wouldn't have been able to respond if he hadn't remember. Lily hadn't spoken a word. Both Jack's and Sammy's face lit up. The three old friends worked the night away building their vocabulary.  
What the void did was uncertain. Jack described it simply as "too much" and "nothing." Like he was sinking in a pool of needles. Whatever it was, it definitely wasn't a push over. Jack described what he called "punishments" for transgressions, like hoping (Sammy stroked his hair as he signed, ready with a shoulder to cry on). He tried to talk after hours of trying to remember and learning new signs. He tried speaking but the sound that came out was nearly inhuman. Doctors wanted nothing to do with him. It took only moderate threats from the big sister to not have Jack moved to a psychiatric ward. "You just need time." Sammy comforted him, tears soaking his sweater.

That was three weeks ago. His release from the hospital freed Sammy and Lily to explore other options, should he choose to want them. Lily has been "testing" therapists and psychologists non stop. She wasn't about to let her brother's life get ruined anymore.  
Sammy finally was able to give him the love that had been killing him for years. Between soft kisses and a tenderness he nearly forgot, Jack eased back into a semi normal life. He still would cry at any given moment and his legs would stop working at random and most of his memories were still "on lock down", but for someone barely two months out of the void that was spectacular.  
"What do you want to do today?" Sammy asked pressing kisses on Jack's forehead. Jack clawed at his beard with a pout.  
"You want to shave?"  
A forceful shake.  
"You want me to shave you?"  
An excited nod with a smile warm and beautiful. _I feel like I can trust you,_ his nimble fingers signed with excitement. _Plus it itches to no end._  
"I'm honored, babe." Excited kisses attacked his face as Jack climbed over him and out of the bed.

Jack dragged his fiance into the bathroom by his hand in his. He perched himself on the toilet and watched with earnest as Sammy gather supplies. Lily's playlist played, filling the room with Brendon Urie's sweet voice. Jack once knew all the words and would song along with his deep baritone. Guilt washed over Sammy as memories of Jack singing. Of him being happy. Though he was literally a foot away, Sammy still feel so distant from his fiance. He's _there_ , but not really. The Jack he knew was silent shared looks that bursted into laughter, quick witty responses to stun everyone, inappropriate Rocky Horror jokes at the worst times, long talks the dark and loud singing filling the house. This Jack that sat so close to him wore a permanent empty smile. Watched everything with a childlike curiosity. Watched him constantly. Like he was trying to learn how to Jack. Sammy would love either Jack, new or old.  
Temporary strength forced him out of that spiral. He caught Jack's eyes and his confusion. "Sorry," Sammy mumbled, "Lost in thought." A wide smile flashed on Jack's face. Years he spent joking about being flaming, but that smile burned him. It mocked him. A reminder that if Jack gets his memories, he'll remember all their fights and their pain. The times they were barely surviving paycheck to paycheck. Or when some asswipe called them names or beat them up. Sammy was going to lose Jack's smile all over again.  
Sammy held Jack's chin to tilt his head backwards, careful to avoid looking at that smile. "You ready?"  
Jack have a quick nod.  
"You sure you want me to do it? I mean, look at my beard. You really want me to do yours?" His rambling didn't stop him from wetting Jack's face. "Like sure, this ugly bastard is one part depression, two parts coma but I'm not the greatest shaver." His fiance grabbed his wrists, dragging them to his side with a pat.  
_I trust you._  
"Your fault." He muttered as he sprayed the shaving cream into his hand. A tongue slipped past Jack's lips. "Your sass is get you in trouble. Put it back in or you're gonna get a taste of Old Spice." He complied reluctantly as Sammy rubbed his face with cream. He followed him with big brown eyes. Each time he tried to start, Sammy would catch those watchful eyes and doubt would chill his bones.  
_I may be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that you can't shave by holding a razor over my face._ Sammy muttered an apology and raised his hand again. Slowly the first drag of the razor carved its way through his coarse hair. He felt a little pride in himself for the first time in years.  
Each drag came easier than the previous one. A comfortable silence fell between them letting Lily's playlist ward off thoughts of doubt and worry. Jack's brown eyes remained fixated on Sammy as he worked. He tried to ignore them, a futile effort. By some miracle, he managed to rid Jack's face and the world of that beard.  
The deed was done. One quick check and they were done. To see Jack beardless once again made Sammy's heart soar and his thoughts spiraled. This was physically Jack for sure. But that empty smile and curious eyes made him question. Sammy couldn't hold it anymore as he cleaned away the supplies."Do you mind if I ask something not pleasant?"  
Jack cocked his head unsure, but then nodded.  
"Why do you smile all the time?" Sammy watched as Jack timidly felt his lips with his fingers. Unaware of his own smile. "Don't get me wrong, I love your smile. It's just..." Just what. Unnerving was too weak. Unsettling was too strong. It was, and the thought felt more like a knife to the stomach, not Jack. Toes curled anxiously as he waited for a response, pulling at the bath mat.  
_My memories aren't all there but I think feelings are? You make me feel love and happiness. Like..._ He faltered a bit with furrowed brows. Only to raise his hands again with a steel like determination. _I feel happy with you and there's sometimes when I feel sadness and anger and I think maybe resentment but... that love and happiness are always there. Always present. Ultimately, I know I love you. And there's something else too. I feel safe._ His hands froze before rapidly signing. _Not "my hero" safe, but like..._ Jack searched for the words at the top of his mind. His smile began to slip before Sammy offered in a quiet voice.  
"Trusting a creek you've known your whole life to take you home."  
_Exactly that!_ The joy returned briefly before worry overtook him as tears fell freely from Sammy.  
"It's fine. I'm fine." Sammy offered a smile. "I'm not crying from sadness." He grabbed the edge of his shirt and wiped his face. Jack looked unconvinced. "It's umm... Long ago, we were going to sleep and you asked if saying that was good. I told you it was cheesy."  
_It is cheesy._  
"Yeah, I didn't know you were working on your proposal."  
His hands fell slowly down to his side. But Sammy, Sammy couldn't help stop the laughter bubbling in him. Relief like a river freed from a dam flooded his senses. He wasn't trying to learn how to be someone, Jack was just happy to be with him. Giving a quick kiss to his forehead, Sammy's tears dried.  
"You wanna see your new look?"  
That enthusiastic smile came back in full force, nodding his head. Sammy stepped out of the way and let Jack have the mirror. His hands rubbed his cheeks, his chin, his neck three times before turning to Sammy.  
_I look seven hours old_  
"That's oddly specific."  
_Truly beautiful to behold_ , Jack wiggled his eyebrows. Sammy stunned by the joke made Jack's hands quickly sign _I don't know why I said that. Felt right._  
"Yeah no, that's good. Just wasn't expecting it." He mumbled. His hand found Jack's. "Let's get breakfast."  
Jack blinked slowly.  
"I love you too."


End file.
